Auto-generated transcript:
So we’re talking about the coming at or deciding on your life goal and as I mentioned to you yesterday or not yesterday I recorded yesterday but the last episode on this the first one that I suggested to you that you should narrow down your choices to not more than two, two different choices. So after that what you do is as much in-depth research about those choices as you possibly can. Research on different careers and so forth has become now thanks to the internet, thanks to social media and so on has become much easier than it was. So utilize that. Social media is generally harmful or negative but in this case it’s useful. So utilize that and we do as much research as you can and find out about the two career choices that you have narrowed down to. Once you’ve done that part of that research you should have come up with the names of the top people in that profession and this should be part of your research so you would have you would have names. Pick three top ones of that. Now these are people who are in effect living your dream. They have been there done that they have achieved what you are setting out to achieve. They are at the goal and you are starting out on the path to get to the goal. Now I’m not suggesting to you that these people will give you you know their life is exact copy or exact model of what you should do with your life. No but it’s the closest that you’re going to get to that and you’re looking at a success model. So you’re looking at somebody who’s had done that, who’s struggled and who was successful. So obviously they will have wonderful things and potentially they will have a lot to to teach you. So take that and then contact them and request to be allowed to shadow them. Now this is very important because you want to get as much of a hands-on experience as much of a hands-on experience of the profession before you actually get into the profession and the way to do that is to shadow somebody who is in that profession. So if you want to become a you know bus driver for example or say a long distance 16-wheeler truck driver. So before you actually get a truck license and whatnot ask one of the truckers if you can ride with him ride with him and my experience of people is that most people who are successful are very open to sharing their lives and their struggles and their goals with anyone who is genuinely interested in listening to them and please notice my words genuinely interested not somebody who’s sort of passing by no genuinely interested. So you need to convince that person that you are truly interested in learning from them. Once you convince them and it doesn’t take long anyone worth his salt will figure out in the first you know 30 seconds of your conversation whether you’re serious or not. So then request to shadow them. As I mentioned people are very willing and open to that and once they agree then you shadow them and do it for a few days maybe a week or so because otherwise you don’t get it and get a clear idea of that profession because especially if there’s something you want to do it would seem very exciting and and nice to begin with and before you can come to the painful aspects of it which every single profession has you would have got out and you would have got out with a wrong impression so you don’t want to do that you want to make sure that you understand it fully and to understand fully you need to be to have enough of an experience the one week is still not enough but it’s the best you can do so ask for that and then that one week must be the most serious week of your life be very very serious with them and with their time because their time is valuable and for you it’s something which is even more valuable so don’t treat that lightly they have taken the troubles to share their life with you so take it seriously now what does that mean in in practice it means that you show up before they show up so if they’re working hours begin at depending on who you are shadowing if you are shadowing for example a surgeon most surgeons begin their surgery very early in the morning 5 a.m so if the surgeon is beginning at 5 a.m you make sure that you are there well before that and so on and then stick in there and don’t say i’m feeling hungry or i don’t know i am tired i need to take my afternoon nap or i need to run to mama for my milk no stick in there no complaints where you need to where you are with them for example the surgeon takes you after surgery takes you to the cafeteria pull out your wallet and pay for the coffee or pay for the the lunch or whatever you are having if he stops you then you might gracefully accept his hospitality one time but otherwise always be the first open their car doors pull out chairs for them to sit right treat the whole thing as that this person is doing you an enormous favor and for the duration of that week you are their servant and you are honored that they took you into their service so you’re not doing them a favor they are doing and they have done a favor to you and you’re trying to pay it back to the extent possible knowing full well that you can never pay it back because they it was their initiative they agreed in the first place otherwise you wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place so treat it with respect treat them with respect read their time with respect this is very very very important um i’ve had many cases where people ask to be mentored they ask to be coached and then they try to call the shots um i i have a very important thing that i need to talk to you about it’s okay fantastic um can i see you at 6 p.m on wednesday okay i’m saying what can you see me at 6 p.m on wednesday now whose need who whose need is it your need or my need and you want to call the shots you want to tell me when i must make myself available to you come on give me a break i wasn’t money yesterday right you asked me when can i see you and if i tell you that i can see you at 9 a.m on monday don’t tell me oh but you know that’s my working day tough luck brother i didn’t ask to see you it’s your working day big deal so take it off if it’s so important for you take a take a day off take two hours off right whatever but don’t dictate to me when you want to be with me when you want to see me so be very careful with that don’t blow it before it even begins shadow them now one extremely important thing uh with shadowing apart from these things which i told you already what which is that um keep notes you might think you have a great memory you might even have a great memory but don’t trust the memory keep notes because you want to take these notes and you want to go over these notes in detail reflecting like i mentioned the last time reflection introspection conceptualization so you want to be able to do all that and for that it’s essential that you take copious notes so keep a don’t don’t record conversations because it is even illegal in many places don’t take photographs without permission just write down on a pad and that also seek permission first i said to them that i would like to make sure that i remember everything you tell me everything i see so with your permission can i take notes and everybody will say yes and then take notes and then take notes all right now everything don’t don’t think oh this is easy um this is not important right everything right absolutely everything and then request again and this is part of your uh what i call the mentoring contract request the person for some time at the end of the day at their convenience where you can sit with them and debrief and you can ask them questions ask for clarifications um and so on so at the end of the day get time to do that debrief so once you’ve done all of that now you are at a point where you have enough data to be able to decide and this is also a time to decide uh don’t fall into the trap of trying to get more and more and more and more data because you will just get confused there is a value in collecting data and there is a value and there is a negative value in collecting too much data so you need to have enough data not insufficient data but if you have too many things then it will only confuse you accept and understand the fact that there is always no matter what going to be uncertainty in life this is the nature of life there is there is no certainty in life and the sooner you get used to ambiguity the sooner you get used to dealing with uncertainty the sooner you get used to not allowing uncertainty to phase you or to freeze you the happier you will be so and that’s what excitement is about excitement is uncertainty with about which you have a happy thought something that you hope will end well and you try to assure that ending well by doing your homework so it doesn’t matter what the uncertainty then you take a decision of the career that you want to do final point the question of consistency which is that once you have decided on the career now go ahead do what you need to do your thoughts and ideas and do what you need to do with regard to applying to colleges universities depending on what it is apprenticeship for skills whatever it was and get on with it and do your absolute best remember when you are studying and preparing for a career you are in a lifetime project it’s not about that one exam it is a result of that exam that result of that exam if it is good it will open doors for you which will be open for the rest of your life and if the result of the exam is bad and you don’t need to fail an exam if you don’t have a decent GPA then it means that more than likely some very important doors in your life would be shut usually forever there’s nothing more pointless and hopeless than to have to say if only I had done this if only I had done that today we live in a world where we have been fooled and inveget into believing that our feelings are the only thing which matter nothing else matters my feelings matter and my feelings supersede everything in the world my feelings supersede everyone else’s feelings my supers my feelings supersede social norms my fee my feelings supersede ethics and morals my feelings supersede everything this is the complete and total falsehood this is the big lie which somebody called the tyranny of feelings we have allowed our feelings to tyrannize us you are not your feeling you feel the feeling you own the feeling you I have in my book I have said that my feelings are my feelings because they are my feelings it’s like saying my dog it’s my dog because I own the dog I am not the dog so stop being the dog you own the dog now what’s the benefit of that the benefit of understanding the true position of your feelings is that you put them in their place what is the place of your feelings the place of your my feelings is as some things that are in my control I choose to feel this way or that watch your conversation anytime you are saying things like he made me angry she broke my heart he you know is responsible for I’m feeling bad and he is responsible this external affirmation the need for external affirmation affiliation needs the need for somebody else to affirm that I am a good human being that I am successful think about that you know there are people in the world and really talking to myself who have enormously successful careers you know I mean they’re absolutely tops number one and they have these amazing careers and yet they get very unhappy if they don’t get somebody or the other to affirm that for them they don’t have somebody praising them and saying oh wow you are the best that’s why they get very upset now think about that they’re just the reason I took this picture of these beautiful beautiful hibiscus is this here’s this flower being the best it can be and it doesn’t give a damn what I think it’s not doing it for me so I’m appreciating the flower by appreciating the flower I am showing that I have a good aesthetic sense that I have the sense to appreciate something which is beautiful so by appreciating the flower I’m really affirming my within quotes good sense the flower doesn’t give a give anything the flower doesn’t care whether I appreciate it or not the flower flowers being as being itself and that is the mindset to cultivate to say I will be the best that I can be and I’m being that because of who I am not because of what anybody else might think not because I’m not playing to any gallery I’m not doing it because somebody else is watching I’m not you know stopping midway to listen for the applause who is clapping no I am going to be the best that I’m going to be so it is very very important to keep this thing in mind work to do the best because as far as you are concerned there is no other way because in the end it’s about you it’s not about them it’s not about somebody else it’s about you so we do the best we can do because it’s about me I wish you all the very best follow this advice and inshallah you will you will be the best and questions comments post them ask them and I’ll do my best to answer
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 19:12 — 13.2MB) | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | Youtube Music | RSS