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Bismillāh ar-Raḥmān ar-Raḥīm. Alhamdulillāhi Rabbil-‘Alameen. Wasalatu was-salamu ala achrafil anbiya wal mursaleen. Muhammadur Rasoolullah ﷺ, sallallahu alaihi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam. Tasleemun tasleemun. Qamma abadu.
My brothers and sisters, in the West, they do this with Christian funerals, but they also do it with Muslim funerals. Which is that, before they bury the body, somebody will say something about the person who died. And that’s called a eulogy. They make a speech and they talk about this person and they say what a good person he was and all his fadail and you know how he was helpful and so on and so on.
And here also we have condolence meetings and people make speeches about whoever died. The thing to think about is that, no matter what you say, whether you say good or bad, the person who died is not hearing it. It doesn’t go to him. So you can say what you want. So what is the use of saying it then? What is the point? You’re saying it for who?
The reason I say that is because if you had said the same things to that person when he was alive, it would have a different effect altogether. You would have been expressing your gratitude to that person. He would have been happy. He would have been more motivated in life. He would have thought his life is worth something. But after he dies, you can say whatever you want. What does it matter? He’s not hearing it.
The key thing is we have to understand that Allah ﷻ Himself… Now sometimes people say, why do I need to say it? Don’t they know? Sometimes I tell people, did you thank your wife for the fact that every day you get good hot food on the table? She’s cooking or somebody’s cooking and she’s taking care of it. Every day, you don’t have to worry. You come home, there is a good meal. Things which you like have been cooked.
And one day if it is not there, you know the effect of that. So it’s an important thing for you. If it is not there, supposing you have to cook your own food, God forbid, especially in Hyderabad. Or you have to order it and so on. No matter where you order it from, there is a big difference between some food you order from Swiggy or whatever and food that is cooked in your own house.
But how many people take the trouble to thank the person responsible? Almost nobody.
Many years ago, I was teaching a course for Ji in Chennai. Now in Madras, in Chennai, especially with Tamil Brahmins, there is a custom in every single Tamil Brahmin home. And that is, in the morning, the lady of the house, whoever it is, the mother or the sister or whoever, she will wake up before everybody else. She has a bath, she goes, does her puja, then she goes to the kitchen. And she brews filter coffee. Right? You get this fantastic filter coffee, freshly ground coffee. She brews this coffee. By then the men wake up and they, she will give them one. They have this steel glass with a tumbler. So you pour the coffee in the tumbler. So, she gives them one coffee. And they will sit and read the Hindu newspaper and drink this coffee. This is a standard, you know, it’s like a, almost like a religious ritual in every Tamil Brahmin house.
So I was teaching this course in Ji. It’s a two-day leadership course. So, at the end of the second day, I asked the same question, which I asked you just now. I said, how many people, and they were almost all Tamil Brahmins, all Tamil Brahmins in that class. So I asked them first, I said, do you have this in your house? Yes, sir. I said, one day, if it is not there, oh, terrible, you know, how can, you wake up in the morning, there is no coffee, my God. Like the world is ending today.
So I said, something which is so important and which you get regularly every day. How many of you thank you? Your mother or wife or sister, whoever makes it, how many of you thank? Dead silence.
So between, nobody thanked. There was one guy sitting right in front who was a little older. And he started smiling, almost laughing. So I said, what happened, am I, what was funny? You know, you were laughing. He said, no, sir, if I thank my wife, she will die.
So I said, let her die happy, you know, at least. Let her die happy, because you thanked her. Now that is the, that is the reality.
Anyway, next day, so end of first day, I said this. Second day morning, I always go a bit early. So I was, I went there early, I was sitting in the class, going through my papers. One young guy came, he was in the course. He came, he said, sir, good morning, I said, good morning. He said, sir, my mother asked me to thank you. So I said, your mother, I don’t know your mother. Who is your mother? Thank me for what?
So very sheepishly, he said, no, sir, yesterday I went home and I said to my, I thanked my mother for the coffee. So my mother said to me, who told you to tell me this?
So he said, I tried to tell her, no, I thought that. He said, no, I know you. This does not come to you. Somebody told you to thank your mother. Who told you?
So he said, no, our teacher told her. Go thank your teacher tomorrow. For reminding you.
So when people say, don’t they know? My question is, Allah Subh’anaHu Wa Ta-A’la Jalla Jalaluhu, in the Quran, in Surah Al-Ibraheem, Ayah number 7, Allah Subh’anaHu Wa Ta-A’la said, وَإِسْتَعَزَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَإِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَإِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ أَذَابِ لَشَدِيدٍ (wa ista’azanna rabbukum la-in shakartum la-azeedannakum wa-la-in kafartum inna adhaba lashadid).
Allah Subh’anaHu Wa Ta-A’la said, remember when your Rabb announced, Jalla Jalaluhu, that if you thank me for my blessings, I will increase them, and if you do not thank me, if you are ungrateful, beware, my punishment is severe. So my question is, when we say, don’t they know? Doesn’t Allah know?
So why is Allah saying, you should thank? If you think your wife knows, your husband knows, your brother, sister, whoever, your work colleague knows, they may know, I don’t dispute that they know. They may know, but, if you are saying, that is why, why should I thank? Then does Allah not know? Why is Allah saying, thank? Because to be grateful, to express thanks, is about you, it’s not about them. It’s not a question of, do they know, do they not know? Did you do your duty of expressing your thanks? Did you do your duty of expressing your gratitude and saying, Jazakum Allah Khairan, you have helped me. And Nabi ﷺ said, to say, Jazakum Allah Khairan, is thanks. Because you are asking, Allah Subh’anaHu Wa Ta-A’la, to reward that person. In a beautiful hadith, in Sunnah Bida’ud, Abu Huraira Radhiyal Anu, he said that Rasulullah ﷺ said, whoever does not thank people, has not thanked Allah. إِلَّا يَشْكُرُ اللَّهُ مَنْ لَا يَشْكُرُ النَّاسِ أو كما قال عليه الصلاة والسلام لَا يَشْكُرُ اللَّهُ مَنْ لَا يَشْكُرُ النَّاسِ (Allahu yashkuru man la yashkuru an-nas).
The one who does not thank the people, has not thanked Allah Subh’anaHu Wa Ta-A’la. And if you don’t thank Allah Subh’anaHu Wa Ta-A’la, I mentioned to you what Allah Subh’anaHu Wa Ta-A’la Himself said about the one who is not grateful. So I remind myself and you, it is very important for us, making speeches about how good people were after they are dead, is a waste of time.
Say to them, right there. Say to the person who is right there in front of you, alive and well, if there is something good you want to say, say to them. Don’t wait for them to die before you talk to them. It is very important for us. So when you go home today, do that first thing. When you go to work today, do that first thing. Whoever is working with you, thank them. Thank people, thank them. Many, many times, you know, especially people who work for us, drivers and cooks and servants, we never say thanks. May Allah have mercy. One day that servant, does not come, your whole life is upside down. One day the cook doesn’t come, so obviously the work they are doing…
Giving thanks is important for you. But do you say thank you? We never say it; it doesn’t even occur to us. You want to go, you have got a flight at 2 o’clock in the morning, you call the driver, he will come at 2 o’clock, he wakes up in the night, he comes home, comes to you, he takes your luggage, he takes you in the car, drives you, brings you back, brings the car back—all this. You should say, “Thank you.” Thank you. I mean, he is a human being, isn’t he? You say, he has spoiled his sleep, he is coming, poor man. He is paying the salary, okay, he is paying the rizq, what happens? He will buy it. To give thanks, this is very important, especially to give thanks to those who serve us day and night. And if that thing doesn’t remain for a day, then we all get hurt. We cannot live without it.
You know, during the time of COVID, everyone got out naked. When people stopped coming, everyone got sick, they got sick. Everything got sick. Why do we need to wait for that? Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us beautiful lives, Allah has given us all kinds of facilities, all kinds of things, Allah has given us beautiful friends, who go out of their way to be nice to you, to help you, to spend time with you, company—just think about it, just pure company. Somebody, somebody, one friend of mine called me from Delhi. Are you there this particular week? He said, “I am here. I want to come and spend two days in Hyderabad for two days.” I said, “Please come, most welcome.” He came. I picked him up from the airport, brought him home. So in the morning, we had breakfast and so on. He is sitting around. I said, “Any particular thing, can I take you somewhere to do something?” He said, “No, nothing.” So I said, “Then why did you come?” He said, “I came to spend time with you. I haven’t seen you for such a long time. So I thought, let me come and spend two days.” Can you imagine? He gets on a plane from Delhi, comes all the way to Hyderabad, just to spend two days. No other work. I said, “Can I come?” He said, “No, nothing.” Is this not something to be grateful for? Alhamdulillah, that you have somebody who—it’s very, very important. Please, I remind myself and you, let us be grateful. Let us be thankful to Allah. Allah has given us. He has given us people like this, friends like this, who go out of their way. They don’t have to do it. They go out of their way to be helpful.
When I go to South Africa, my friend Ibrahim Patel insists that he has to come and pick me up from the airport. I tell him, “Emirates gives a car. They will drop me home. The flight is coming at four o’clock in the morning. Why do you want to? No. Cancel that car. Why do you want to come? They will pick you up.” Very, very important. This is extremely important that we must express our gratitude to people and thank them and make dua for them that Allah Ta’ala blesses them and Allah Ta’ala helps them and eases their lives and eases their difficulties. And don’t wait for them to die before you say all this. Allah Ta’ala says the right thing. What do you do? Allah Ta’ala says the right thing. So, we ask Allah Ta’ala to help us. We ask Allah Ta’ala to help us to be grateful and thankful and make us among the shakireen. And may Allah bless the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his family and his companions with the mercy of Allah.