Every relationship in the world has two things associated with it; a benefit that we derive from it and a responsibility that we owe to it. Any relationship that does not benefit ceases to exist even if it began and carried on for a while. Very soon any intelligent person will realize that they are gaining nothing from the relationship and will move away from it. On the contrary, a relationship that is beneficial will attract you to itself, will be constantly strengthened and you happily invest in it continuously because you realize how you are gaining from it. Needless to say the benefit or gain can be material (money, friends, fame, happiness) or non-material (spiritual peace, enlightenment, commitment to a cause or ideology, converts).
Let us see some examples from our lives.
Parents – Children: Parents gain from the love of their children; both being loved by them and being able to love them. They believe that they gain so much in fact that they are able to make little of all kinds of sacrifices for their children to bring them up. Sadly many grown up children don’t see the same level of benefit from continuing the relationship so they need to be motivated either by the promise of reward or the fear of punishment, to do even a fraction of what their parents did for them as they were growing up. There is of course a biological explanation for this relating to the continuation of the species and the discarding of those who have reached their productive end. But I remind myself that to transcend biology is the meaning of being civilized. To act for reasons other than species survival is to prove the existence of reason itself. For it is reason that distinguishes us from animals.
To pay for this gain, there are responsibilities that each must fulfill. Parents, the responsibility of Tarbiyya (proper upbringing) and children the responsibility of Khidmat (service to the parents).
Employer – Employee: This is a very easy one to understand where the employer gains from our work and we get paid. We continue to work happily as long as we feel the equation to be in our favor or at least fair. The employer will continue to employ us for the same reason, as long as he feels that the equation is in his favor or fair to both parties. As soon as this equation is seen as one sided, the relationship ends. To pay for the benefit of employment, the employee has to fulfill his responsibility of being productive and loyal. The employer, to pay for the gain of having the employee work must fulfill his responsibility of paying him and taking care of him and providing him with an environment in which he can be productive.
Husband – Wife: Once again this relationship is formed on the basis of mutual benefit and breaks when one or both see that they are not gaining from it. For the benefit of having a home which is a place of mutual love, respect, harmony and pleasure, the husband must fulfill the responsibility of proving for it materially. In order to be free from the problem of earning a living and to benefit from being cared for the wife must fulfill her responsibility of creating a home that is a joy for the husband to return to. Both must fulfill the responsibility of mutual good treatment.
Citizen – Country: The country provides the benefits of affiliation, opportunity, safety and guarantees certain rights. The citizen pays taxes, follows the law and is obliged to fight if necessary to protect his country against outsiders. Failure to fulfill his responsibility to his country can be very costly for the citizen.
I am sure you can think of many other relationships that we form and break all through our lives and you will see how this model applies to all of them. Interestingly the model applies also to our relationships with non-human and inanimate things; pets, plants, associations and clubs, gadgets and holidays. Each has a benefit for us and for that reason we fulfill a responsibility towards it. When the responsibility is not fulfilled, the benefit ends. Where the benefit disappears, we stop fulfilling the responsibility. This mutuality exists in all relationships of this life.
However there is one truth about all relationships of this life – they all end before or with our death. Some end before we die for a variety of reasons which I am sure I don’t have to elaborate here. But every one of them; no matter how deep and strong, no matter how powerful and beneficial, no matter how much you love it or hate it; ends with death. Death frees us from all worldly relationships.
Except two.
There are two relationships that we have – all of us, Muslim or not – that we enter this world with and which go with us when we leave this life. These two relationships are not of our making though we have been given the choice to accept our responsibility towards them or to reject the responsibility. But the choice is not free. It comes with consequences. If we accept and fulfill our responsibility, we earn reward. If we don’t, the responsibility that we owe to them still remains because we continue to benefit from them whether or not we accept them. That is why if we don’t fulfill our responsibility towards them, we would be held culpable and would be liable for punishment on the Day when we will all be gathered in the place of gathering – the Day of Judgment.
These two relationships are our relationship with our Creator Allahﷻ and our relationship with His Messenger Muhammad Rasoolullahﷺ.
About our relationship with our Creator
We owe our very existence to Allahﷻ as well as our continued wellbeing. And that is what Allahﷻ reminds us about. Our relationship with Allahﷻ who created us and sustains us and provides us with everything that we need comes with the responsibility of worshipping only Him and thanking Him for what He has given us.
He said:
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اعْبُدُواْ رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ وَالَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ
Al Baqara 2: 21. O mankind! Worship your Rabb (Allah) Who created you and those who were before you so that you may become Al-Muttaqun (pious).
About Rasoolullahﷺ Allahﷻ reminded all mankind about His greatest favor; the favor of providing guidance; that He sent His Messengerﷺ and that it is up to the people to believe in him. However if they don’t do so, nothing will change because the heavens and the earth and all that they contain belongs to Allahﷻ anyway. This Ayat is typical of the majesty and magnificence of the Qur’an in its tone and power of address. Allahﷻ said:
An Nisa 4: 170. O mankind! Verily, there has come to you the Messenger (Muhammad) with the truth from your Rabb, so believe in him, it is better for you. But if you disbelieve, then certainly to Allah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth. And Allah is Ever All-Knowing, All-Wise.
Today as I speak to you, history is being written. The relationship of the Ummah of Rasoolullahﷺ is being confirmed and paid for on blood and lives. The name of that place is Gaza. What do we know, what Gaza is! Gaza is the place above which the doors of Jannah are open. And those who Allahﷻ loves are going up to Him. Gaza is the place which Rasoolullahﷺ is pointing to and saying to His Rabb, “Ya Rabbi this is my Ummah. You’re their witness that they are as true to you 1400 years later as they were when I was among them. “
Let us do our best and support all those who are calling for a cease fire and justice for the people of Gaza and Palestine. May Allahﷻ bless all those Jews, Christians, Atheists, whoever, who are protesting and agitating for peace and an end to the genocide. God bless America where we can speak our minds and protest freely without fear. Don’t lose that opportunity and sit on your sit-upon instead of marching with those who stand for truth and justice. Then we will be able to say to Allahﷻ that we did our best.
Let us remember that even today, Allahﷻ is the same; our relationship with Him is the same; our relationship with His Messengerﷺ is the same and our responsibility towards Allahﷻ and Rasoolullahﷺ is the same.
It is up to us to decide whether or not we want to fulfill that responsibility because those are the only two relationships that will go with us after we die.
May Allahﷻ grant us the Tawfeeq to do what is pleasing to Him and what is of benefit to us in this world and the next. Was salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah.
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