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In the life of every person, there comes a time when there is an opportunity to make an impact. Now you can only make that impact if you are ready for it and that is a function of your anticipating that opportunity. So that’s the reason why you need to keep thinking about your own life and see where are you going, what are you doing. When this window shuts, we call this a window of opportunity, when
then effectively our life is over even if we remain alive
very very few or very seldom does the window open twice usually it doesn’t once you get a chance if you don’t do anything then life will go on but you know تو صبح ہوتی ہے شام ہوتی ہے یوں ہی زندگی تمام ہوتی ہے so morning and evening happens and your life is finished. You take the numbers on us: so if you want to really create an impact, matter, make an impact, do something worthwhile, then you must be alert and you must think and you must prepare and you must reflect and that is the reason why the importance of reflection and introspection and writing notes—it’s extremely important without that opportunities will come and go but you will not be able to take advantage of them.
The essential truth, I think I mentioned this yesterday also, that we are free to choose, but every choice has a price tag. Every choice has a price tag. When you say yes to something, you are automatically saying no to something else. So keep that in mind and think about that and say, when I’m saying yes to this, what is it that I am saying no to? And if you do a deal where what you say no to is more valuable than what you said yes to, then that’s a loss. See, in this concept I say that in the two kinds of people in the world, masters and victims, and you choose to be either of them. Now you might say, well, I did not choose to be a victim. Well, you became a victim because you did not choose to be a master. When you said no to master, you automatically became a victim. You chose to be a victim. The thing is that both of these stances, whether it’s a master stance or a victim stance, the environment in which they exist is the same. Society is the same, things happen and so on and so forth. But the outcomes are very different. How a master comes out of that is very different from how a victim comes out of the same thing.
Now, master and victim have nothing to do with how much money you have, or how much authority you have, or whether you have, which country you live in, or geography. None of that makes any difference. This has nothing to do with any of those things. This has to do with you and your choices.
Some distinguishing features: so if you look at yourself, think about that and say, victims. Victims complain. That’s what they do, they complain. This happened, that happened, so and so didn’t give me this. I lost out here, I lost out there. Moaning, groaning, complaining. All these are victims’ chances. Then the next step is they think of excuses. Somehow make yourself look good. Export blame. It’s always somebody else’s fault. It’s never anything do with you; it’s always somebody else’s fault. And then this stands over a period of time—you lose hope, nothing works, you lose hope, you give up and you perish either directly or indirectly. You perish now. Masters on the other hand—if you remember in the morning or yesterday i said—so what can I do about it? That is a masterful stance. The same thing may happen to the master and the victim: the victim will groan and moan and cry and so on and so on, make excuses, export blame, but he will not do anything to change that situation. Whereas a master, he will not do any of the other things; he will not blame, he will not moan, groan. If it hurts, it hurts, but immediately he will say ok, so now I am in this mess. Now I’m at the bottom of this hole. Somehow I fell inside. Now what can I do? How can I get out?
Right?
And obviously if he is thinking of solutions and so on, he owns the responsibility for it. He doesn’t say, oh, it’s somebody else’s fault. He says, no, I fell into this hole because I somehow had my eyes shut or something. I should have seen the signs. I didn’t see the signs. And I landed in this mess. This hole can be anything. This hole can be in your career. It can be in آپ کی زندگی میں بھی کسی دوسرے طرح نہیں ہے۔ صحیح؟ لیکن جب آپ درخواہ ہیں تو آپ اپنے نفس کو سوچتے ہیں کہ میں یہاں جا سکتا ہوں؟ بیوک اور سوچتے ہیں کہ آپ جانتے ہیں کہ میرا باس برائی ہے۔ کسی کو سمجھتا ہے؟ آپ یہاں سے کیسے جاتے ہیں؟ اور پھر آپ کہتے ہیں کہ آپ اسے کس طرح سے جاتے ہیں؟
تو اس سے سمجھتے ہیں کہ اگر آپ درخواہ ہیں، درخواہ آپ کو نہیں دیکھنا ہے۔ Your choice to stay there is your choice, nobody else’s choice.
Let people say anything they want; you are choosing to stay there if you are choosing to stay there, don’t complain—it’s your choice.
So think about this and say how did I get in here and now how can I get out?
And masters have courage to think of new ways and that’s why I say they win even if they don’t succeed because they are learning something. Life is moving on, things are happening because end of the day remember one day we all die no matter which situation you are in—you all die and then you go before Allahﷻ and there you will answer and there’s no one, no one is going to come and save you there right here. You can have all kinds of fancy excuses: i this happened before Allah, there’s Allah knows, you also know, Allah also knows. So there, there is nothing so very important thing and that’s why I say problems need solutions, they don’t need complaints.
Now as I said price of success—we are all of us are free to choose but no choice is free—so think about it like this. You go into a store, a big store, right whichever the biggest store you can think about and you have a nice big shopping cart and as you walk along the aisles, you pick up this, you pick up that, you fill the shopping cart, you come to the and then you want to go home. What do you need to pass through? Checkout. Checkout counter, right? So, when you come to the checkout counter, you got to compile the shopping cart pile like this and you discover you don’t have cash. So, what do you do? پھر رہے ہیں صحیح انہوں نے کہا نہیں نہیں نہیں اپنے قابل کے لئے خاص قابل کے لئے ہمیں گھر جاتے ہیں نہیں آپ کھانے کے لئے فرید ہوتے ہیں لیکن ہر چوئیس پیدا کرنا مجھے ہر چوئیس کونسیکونسیس اور یہ ایک بہت بہت اہم چیز ہے جو ہم دنیا میں دیکھنا چاہئے کچھ چیز نہیں ایک چوئیس جو کچھ سوچ نہیں اللہ نے اس طرح نہیں ہاں فرد اپچونیٹی کاسٹ ہے جب اپچونیٹی کاسٹ ہوا ہے۔ ہاں، ایک طرح اپچونیٹی کاسٹ یہ ہے۔ یہ یہ ہے۔
یہاں میں کہہ رہا ہوں کہ آپ کچھ چھوڑا چاہتے ہیں۔ مجھے یعنی، لیکن یہاں پرائیس ٹاگ ہے۔ یہاں آپ کیا جانتے ہیں؟ اور مجھے بھی نہیں دیکھیں کہ پرائیس ٹاگ صرف ایک نیگٹیوی چیز ہے۔ پرائیس ٹاگ بھی پوزیٹیوی یعنی ہے۔
I want to become a doctor. So, what is the price tag? Cost of medical education plus the time. That’s the price tag. And you say, okay, you’re humble, this is a good price tag. I’ve got no problem with that. At the end of that, I will be a physician. So, go ahead, good all power to you. On the other hand, you might be spending time doing pointless things. آپ کو اپنے اپنے دوستوں کے لئے نیگٹیو انفلوینسز ہونے کے لئے ہو جائیں گے۔
صحیح؟
آپ کو کسی چیز میں مال پڑھ سکتا ہے جو ایک سکیل ہے۔ سب چوئیز ہیں۔ وہ سب پریس ٹیکس ہیں۔
لہذا سوچیں اس کے بارے میں۔ پہلے آپ کو سوچیں۔
کیونکہ یہاں بہت سارے بڑے لوگ ہیں۔ میں کہہ رہا ہوں کہ ایک ایک بہت بڑی خیال ہے کہ آپ کو معاملہ کرنا چاہئے۔
صحیح؟ معاملہ۔
تاقب، معاملہ صحیح رہا ہے اور آپ کی زندگی بہترین ہے۔
اگر نہیں تو آپ کو مشکلات ہیں۔ آپ کی زندگی پر اپنی امکانوں میں بڑھتی ہے۔
تو میں آپ کے ساتھ ایک موڈل شیئر کرنا چاہتا ہوں جو میں ہم سب کو ریورڈز پڑھتے ہیں۔
Rewards in life, I’ve written some, you can add to this: name, frame, money, power, and so on. But to get the rewards, you need to have the behaviors.
Rewards come from action.
So speech, stances, decisions, the behaviors. And behaviors come from self, internal beliefs. Beliefs.
So if you want, if you’re not getting a reward—for example, you say, I don’t have friends, I want to have friends—then look at your behaviors. What is it that you’re doing to make friends? And then, when you look at the behavior, you say, well, I don’t meet anybody, I don’t talk to anybody, I don’t go anywhere; if I’m in a, you know, if I’m I mean, even if I’m with people, like in a class like this, for example, I will not interact with people. I go sit somewhere in the corner. All of which are choices. I mean, it’s not haram to do that. But at the same time, you’re not going to make many friends. Because one of the first requirements of making a friend is to be there.
And if you’re not there, if you’re missing, nobody can make friends with you. And then you say, well, why am I doing that? Who will bring you to your own self-beliefs? When you say, I lack confidence because I give myself negative messages,
you tell yourself, nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I eat worms all day. So, if that is the mental stance, then it’s very difficult to interact with people.
So what must you do if you want friends now? Now, going backwards, examine your own self-messages. What messages are you giving to yourself? If necessary, take some help. Sit to somebody and say, this is what I think about myself. What do you think? You are seeing me on a daily basis. What is your opinion? People will tell you directly. Alhamdulillah. Find a person who is mature and who is genuinely interested in you.
Because you don’t need any more negative messages. You are giving enough to yourself.
انشاء اللہ اور پھر اسے بنائیں۔ لہذا میں کیا کروں گا؟ میں لوگوں سے بات کرنے کی ضرورت ہے۔ ٹھیک ہے، اگر میں لوگوں سے بات کرتا ہوں تو عادتی طور پر بات کرتا ہوں۔ اگر میں کسی سے بات کرتا ہوں تو میں نہیں جانتا کہ وہ کیا کہے گا۔ کیا جانتا ہے؟ ہاں؟ صحیح، صحیح، آپ کو صرف جانتا ہے جب آپ جانتے ہیں۔ تو کیا ہوگا؟ وہ آپ کو بٹھیں گے؟ کچھ نہیں۔ میرا بہن جانتا ہے کہ میں دلی میں ایک انٹرنیشنل سکول پڑھتا ہوں in Delhi and there’s little children, two years old, three years old and all that. So she said to the teacher, she said, be careful, this boy bites. My son, you know, he’s like, he bites people. So I said, okay. So then one day, this little girl, she got very angry with the teacher, with my sister-in-law. لہذا وہ کہتا ہے کہ میکل بھٹو گو.. میکل بھٹو گو.. لہذا یہی بات ہے جس کے ساتھ están نہیں بھٹو گو اپنے لیے بات کریں، کچھ نہیں ہوں گا۔ آپ کے ساتھ بات کریں۔
میں صرف ایک مثال دوست کر رہا ہوں لیکن آپ کے دوسرے اندر سمجھیں کیوں آپ مصروف کرتے ہیں؟ اگر یہ نگتی ہے تو اسے تغیرت کریں اور اگر یہ Inner self influences the outer self. Because as I say here, relationships are based on words.
Words indicate mental models and attitudes. When words change, attitudes behind them change also.
In DHL, they actually did an experiment. You know, DHL had this phone. Those days, when you answer the phone, you pick up the phone and answer. so
they had a rule—they said first of all you pick up the phone on the second ring not on the first ring sometimes false rings are you know first ring is just false ring it stops second ring—and then they said you say good morning this is DHL how can I help you and smile while you are saying that.
It’s not a video call those days; they didn’t have video calls. Why do I need to smile? They said because you can hear the smile.
You can hear the smile mind in the voice right and energetic voice: “Good morning, this is DHL, how can I help you.” And what they found, they discovered that these people, these receptionists after about an hour or two of that, they actually feel happier. So whatever mood they came in, they actually feel more helpful; they actually feel happier. So how can i help you, how can i help you—this affects use, you know, yourself. So, it is very important to watch your language. Don’t use negative language. Don’t use loser language.
There are some people who spend their whole life, right, they tell you
how they didn’t, how they could not do something. Oh, you know, I tried this and this went wrong and something happened. Oh, I tried that and something went wrong. So, the whole life story is failure after failure after failure. I failed here, I failed here. Why are you telling me this story?
I got a couple of friends like this. I mean, one of them, I told him directly, I said, why are you telling me all this? Right? There is nothing good about any of this. So either look at it, see what lesson did I learn, and what can I do differently. Keep quiet about it. I mean, your life is a series of disasters. Why are you telling, what am I supposed to do with it? So it’s very important to remain positive, be positive. As I said, we are not talking about narcissism or not talking about, you know, kind of some fantasy imagining that you are king of the world, but being rooted, grounded, but positive and strong, Inshallah.
If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.
What you never did right and so as far as the price of your success is concerned think about what is it that I need to start doing, what is it that I need to stop doing and what is it that I need to continue to do okay.