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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ، الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى أَشْرَفِ الأَنْبِيَاءِ وَالْمُرْسَلِينَ نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ، أَمَّا بَعْدُ:
My brothers and sisters, Alhamdulillah, now we are talking about connection with Allahﷻ, the importance of connecting to Allahﷻ, of purification of the heart. Therefore, I want to share with you what I call Tazkiya tools. The first and foremost of that is Muhasabah itself. I am talking about a very simple thing: how you do it? Is take your notebook—same notebook that you have Insha’Allah—and write in that answer to three questions every day, before you go to bed. Make sure you do this. And don’t do it on a device; do it on a notebook and write with your hand. Ask three questions: What went well today? Number one. Number two, what mistakes did I make? And three, what is the fix for tomorrow? These three questions. If you want to add a fourth question, you can say, “What went well today? Why did it go well? What was the specific reason why whatever went well went well?” So this is the four questions that you can ask. Muhasabah is to take account of yourself; taking account of yourself is hisab. Muhasabah is hisab—it is accounting.
So what went well? Why did it go well? What mistake did you make? And maybe you can add the way to that also. What mistakes you made and why? And then you can say what is the fix? What work? So every day do this. For example, you might say, “Well, today I think most of my time I spent and I cannot recollect if I did any rigor.” So most of my time went in ruffler. Why did it go in ruffler because I use social media so much today? So we know this now. Therefore, what is the fix? Have the fix. Fawaz here is doing a product where he has a device which blocks all the social media whichever you choose on that; it blocks it for a certain period of time, so whatever time you want it to block. So you won’t get notifications or any of that. So you get some peace of mind. Right? There’s no shortage of devices and no shortage of apps. We have shortage of the will to do it. Anything, even his app, you can buy, you can get the app. It’s good for him. But after that if you don’t use it, it’s no good for you.
Second thing is, we call it Riyadah, which is to guard yourself from all negative influences. We say, “Guard the gates.” For this very important: get off social media, use social media only for communication, nothing else. Because guard the ears and eyes because these are the gates of the soul. Imam al-Shafi’i was a man with his memory was prodigious, incredible memories, stories about people like Imam al-Shafi’i, you know, Imam al-Bukhari, Imam Bukhari, and so on, about their memory how they used to remember and recall it. It’s unbelievable if you listen to those stories you will feel that somebody is exaggerating, but that’s not true; that these people had memories like that. So… we have the story of Imam ash-Shafi’i who one day came to Imam Malik ibn Anas and he said to him, “I have lost the Quran.” He said, “The Quran is gone.” He asked him, “What have you lost?” He said, “It’s gone from my mind.” He was a Hafiz. Hifdh of Qur’an was the fundamental requirement to start your Deen-e-Education. So, being a Hafiz was nothing, you know, great. It was a normal requirement.
He said, “The Qur’an is gone. I can’t even recite Surat al-Fatiha.” It’s something. And I tried to recite Surat al-Fatiha and made mistakes. Immediately Imam Malik said to him, “You have looked at something which Allah has prohibited.” So go and think, recollect, make istighfar, and Insha’Allah Allah will give you the Quran back. So he went home, he sat and thought and reflected and he remembered that he was in the market and there was this lady who was getting out of a vehicle and she extended her leg and a small part of her shin, the part between the calf and the ankle got exposed and Imam ash-Shafi’i happened to look at it. He wasn’t going to look at it; he wasn’t going there to look for that. He was walking there, he happened to see it. The Quran left him.
And in Urdu we say, those who have a high status, they have a difficult time. So people who have high status and high standing with Allahﷻ, Allahﷻ is tough with them. We ask Allahﷻ not to be tough with us and to keep us in a state of ‘Afiyah, InshaAllah. So he made Istighfar and so on and the Quran came back. So, guard the eyes and ears. Be very, very careful. What do you read? What do you look at? What do you hear? What do you listen? The problem today is that there is haram even in halal things. In almost all games that you watch, whether it’s basketball, whether it’s soccer, football, football, World Cup, anything, almost anything. It has got music in it, it’s got cheerleaders, it’s got dancing girls, it’s got all kinds of stuff. And you can’t escape that. There is no way you can escape that. And you might say, “No, no, it doesn’t affect me.” No, no, please. They asked Prophet Muhammad: In Islam, it is haram for a man and woman who are not related, who are not mahram, to be together in one room with the door shut.
So, for example, if there is a doctor who’s got a patient, male doctor, female doctor, male or female, which means other gender patient, and he’s taking her history or his history, then they must have another person in the room, right? It’s also, believe me, this is a very good safety recommendation as well. Don’t be alone with a woman. And for women, don’t be alone with a man in one room. Don’t get into the lift. If there is a single woman in the lift, or a single man in the lift and you are a woman, or if there is a single woman in the lift and you are a man, don’t get in. Let them go. If there are many people, it’s okay. But if there is only one person, it’s not good. So the, if you are alone in the room, it’s not permitted. Now these are all, in Islam, these are things which are, there is safety in this.
So, Sahabahs, they said, “Ya Rasulullah, what if the woman is a pious woman, deendar aurat, she has got a niqab and all that, burqa.” Rasulullah said, “Even if that woman is Maryam, Umm Isa, even if she is Maryam, not to it. You can’t be more pious than Maryam (AS).” He said if there is, if there are two in the room, a man and a woman who are non-mahram, the third one there is Shaitan. So guard, eyes, ears, company, who you talk to, where you go. Second very important thing is to practice intentional silence and solitude. Right? Sukoot and Khalwah (silence and solitude). By yourself. Nobody there. No phone, no virtual presence and no actual presence. Some part of the day you must spend by yourself. Guard this carefully and don’t listen to anything. Just by yourself. Make dhikr, contemplate, breathe. Right? It’s extremely important. This is for your spirit, for your mind, for your heart. These are very important important thing. And then when you speak, never criticize somebody in their absence. Never say anything critical about anyone when they are not there. To praise them, no problem. Don’t praise people to their face and don’t criticize people behind their back. This is a simple rule. Now don’t praise people does not mean don’t appreciate something good they are doing, don’t thank them, no. Praise meaning like you know people make up, “Oh aap to itte achche hai, aap aise hai, aise nahi,” all this. But somebody did something good, Alhamdulillah Jazakallah khair, that was very nicely done, thank you very much, this is very, somebody is organizing a you know some function, extremely well done, Mashallah, very good. So appreciation, That’s fine, Alhamdulillah, should be done. But just shakhsiyyati, praise for the person, don’t do that. To their face, behind their back, tell others, no problem, Alhamdulillah, very good for them. And don’t criticize people behind their back; tell them to their face. If somebody has done something wrong, tell him directly.
And very important, do not complain about anything. There was a man, Hasan al-Basri was going down the road and he saw a man complaining to another man about something in his life. He said, “How strange it is that you are complaining about ar-Rahman to someone who has no rahmah.” This is a, this man is a human being. You are complaining about Allah because whatever it is in your life, it is like that. Whether it is so-called good, so-called bad, we think it is bad. Allahﷻ, cannot be bad. So, do not complain. How are you? Alhamdulillah. Prophetﷺ used to say, “Alhamdulillahi ‘ala kulli hal.”
Then start your day with Tahajjud. We have gone over this many times, but just to give you a framework: start your day with Tahajjud, read one juz’ of the Qur’an, then go to the masjid and sit there until Israaq, making dhikr, or reading Quran and so on, and then pray Israaq, two rakat and two rakat, 20 minutes after sunrise. The reward of that is one hajj and one umrah. Imagine if you do that for one year, that is 365 hajj and 365 umrah. And this is the reward of the accepted Hajj. If I go and do Hajj, maybe I make some mistakes, maybe the reward is not there, or maybe the reward is less. But this is Allah is giving it.
And then the other very important thing. Yes, brother? [Attendee asks: “Why should we not talk politics?”] Why should we not talk politics? Good question. Politics unless you have some control over that. Meaning, if you are talking politics to somebody to influence them, say for example in terms of voting, or if you’re talking politics as in a political party, you are stood for election, you are going to become a politician, all this is fine. But just sitting around talking politics and “Oh this is what is happening in America,” what’s the use of that? It’s a complete waste of time because there’s nothing that you can do there which which affects one way or the other and apart from wasting time is nothing else. Instead of that, talk about something useful, something beneficial. That how can we help each other, what can we do and so on, so on. Talk something which is of some benefit. Just talking politics, waste of time. Because, so don’t talk because of waste of time. So, wasting time is a sin literally because Allahﷻ gave time as a resource. He didn’t give it for us to throw it away. Right?
Now, Now, sohbah (good companionship) is very, very important because it’s a question of friends. And the hadith which is here on the screen, Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, “Ar-rajulu ‘ala deeni khalilihi.” He said the man is on the deen of his khalil. In the Arabic language, there are many words for friends. You say zamil, you say rafiq, and so on and so forth, and khalil. Now Khalil is the closest; Khalilullah is Ibrahim Alayhi Salaam the closest. And when we say friends we don’t mean we don’t say friend of Allah—that is a wrong Way of saying it—because Allah has no friends. Allah is Allah. Friendship means some level of equality. There’s no equality with Allah. Allah is Allah, makhlooq is makhlooq. So Khalilullah is the beloved slave of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala but when we say Khalil with respect to human beings then we are talking about actual friendship—it’s very very close. So Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said Ar Rajulu, the person ‘Ala deeni khalilih: the man is on the Deen of his close friend. Now see, Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is not saying the Deen of the close friend will influence the man; he is saying he is on this Deen, that means this man and his close friend, they are on the same Deen.
Fal-yanzhur (look, examine, consider) ahadukum (each of you) man yukhalil (whom he befriends), who do you make friends with? Don’t just blindly make friends with somebody, hanging out with them, spending time with them and so on, telling them all your life secrets. People do all this, then they get hurt. Something happens, then they get hurt and then they complain as, “Oh, this person did I trusted them so much. Why didn’t you trust them so much?” Who told you to trust them so much? Without checking anything, without any, you know, boundaries. So, very important. So, audit your friends list. Nabi said with regard to friends, Rasool said a good friend is one who reminds you of Allah. And secondly is somebody who reminds you of the Akhirah. And thirdly, it is somebody from whom you learn something new. So, this is the quality of a friend. So, when you do your friends list, check this and have only such friends. Don’t just have a whole bunch of hangers on. You know, especially if you have some money and if you are a generous person and you like to spend money, it’s okay, you pay the bills. Anywhere you go, you sit and eat and so on, you pay the bill. Believe me, you get plenty of friends. Makhiyan jaise aati hain (like flies gathering). You get plenty of friends. Freeloaders. Not one is of use to you. So don’t do that. It’s always good to have as few friends as possible because true friends, actual friends—friend from whom you learn something, who will be there with you, who will stand with you when you… if you need something. And who will fight for you behind your back. Who will… if somebody criticizes you when you’re not there, this friend will stand up for you. That’s the… that’s the… the remark of a good friend.
Third thing is fight the ego, Mujahadah. So anything that your nafs wants, anything negative, go against it, actively. So anger, stinginess, laziness, jealousy, greed, fight it, consciously. Do the opposite, right? Oppose the desires. Oppose all desires, even halal ones. You want to buy something, don’t buy it. See, if your heart says, “No, I want this particular, you know, brand of whatever, chocolate, dough, iPhone, whatever.” What’s the latest model, Chandra? 18, right? 18. Don’t buy it. Then they’ll tell you, you know, “It’s got a fantastic camera,” no problem. My friend has a phone, I’ll borrow his phone. It’s very important, you have to fight. It’s like exercise, you know, you develop strength when you work against resistance. So, except for good things. So, if your nafs wants to give charity and fasting or whatever, Alhamdulillah. Fasting is a very good thing for the nafs. To control the nafs, fasting is an extremely good thing. So, do that. Insha’Allah.
And then the daily audit before you go to bed. Forgive everyone. There’s this famous story which many of you, I’m sure, have heard. The Rasulullah s.a.w. was in al-Masjid an-Nabawi ash-Sharif and he was sitting and other people were with him. And he said, “A man is going to enter here who is from the people of Jannah.” And Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas (RA) he entered. And the second day the same thing happened, third day the same thing happened. So Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) he decided to go and find out the story. Why is Rasool Allah promising Jannah to this person? So he asked him, he went to his house and he said, “Can I come and stay with you for a couple of days?” He said, “Most welcome.” So he stayed with him for three days. This is the haqq of the brother on the brother, to put him up for three days. And then if you, if you put him up for longer, then this is your ihsan on that person; otherwise that person must leave after three days. So anyway, so he stayed there for three days and he observed him very closely. But he didn’t see anything special.
So after three days he said to him, “I came here with this intention that I, you know, want to be here and this is what happened. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam made this statement and I wanted to see what is it that you are doing, any special practice or dhikr or something.” And he said, “You did not do anything.” So what is the reason? Why did Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam make this statement about you? So Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas (RA) said that because every day before I go to bed I forgive everyone. So that’s my internal thing, obviously you can’t see it, so we did that. So do that before you go to bed, forgive everybody.
Second thing is Muhasabah, we mentioned this already. So do that: what went well, what did not go well and why, what’s the fix. And then you do the adhkar of the night. Read Surah al-Mulk and Surah as-Sajdah, read Ayat al-Kursi and do the adhkar of the night which is the Three Quls and then Bismillahilladhi la yadurru ma’asmihi shay’un fil-ardi wa la fis-sama’i wa Huwas-Sami’ul-‘Alim three times. And then you do Tasbih Fatimah: Subhanallah 33 times, Alhamdulillah 33 times, Allahu Akbar 33 times, and then La ilaha illallahu wahdahu la sharika lah, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu wa Huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadir. And then blow on your hand then pass the hand over your body. So these are the adhkar of the night Insha’Allah do that and then sleep in wudu and sleep on your right side with your hand under your cheek. Like this. Later in the night you can turn and so on and so forth. Start with that. And very important to sleep early with the intention of waking up for Tahajjud.
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ وَارْحَمْ وَأَنْتَ خَيْرُ الرَّاحِمِينَ، وَصَلَّى اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَلَى خَيْرِ خَلْقِهِ نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ، بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ، وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ.